Self-care isn’t a new idea, but the ways we’ve begun to apply it in this fast-moving world of ours have made it feel a little bit murky for many people.

While research is able to identify it across many applications and disciplines, there’s no universally accepted definition of what self-care should mean or look like. It seems like somehow, along the way, it was decided that self-care meant anything we do for ourselves…even when it’s a necessity.

But we want to introduce you to a way of engaging with self-care that isn’t combined with guilty pleasure, and instead puts your passion at the heart of your practice!

Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help

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What counts as self-care?

Despite what the general public seems to want us to think, a hot shower or a private potty break are not self-care. And they shouldn’t be!

At the same time, if you feel fulfilled and replenished by these acts, they’re absolutely self-care! Performing them because you must but felt you needed permission to deserve them, though, is an entirely different thing, and we aren’t here for it.

When you started thinking about this, did all your guilty pleasures come to mind? Perhaps it’s a physical activity like hiking or swimming, or taking long walks.

Maybe you just love to read, and can’t get enough of dipping your imagination into the infinite possibility of a story. These things give you purpose and possibility, yet for so many of us, they’re the first things to be pushed aside and pushed out, another guilty pleasure that can’t find space in a busy schedule.

Re-defining self-care

Since there isn’t an agreed-upon definition of self-care, we took joy in writing our own.

Self-care (n): the act of nurturing yourself without conditions, for the purpose of growth, comfort, or replenishment.

Read that a time or five until it settles in your brain spaces. How does it feel? Self-care is not something you earn—it is your right. Can you think of the last time you chose something for yourself because it is yours to choose?

How to stop feeling guilty for our "guilty pleasures"

What comes to mind when you read about a guilty pleasure? When was the last time you did that thing without feeling like you should be doing something else?

So many of our guilty pleasures are, at their core, just pleasures we feel for our own joy. But life has a way of making us feel like our joy is an indulgence, something to feel guilty for.

In order to separate yourself from this concept, you must first begin by considering your relationship with yourself. That’s heavy, though. It requires time and support to move through it wholly and begin healing from time spent feeling guilty about your own joy.

In the meantime, we’d like to offer you a few new ways to begin to validate that your passion projects are a part of caring for yourself, not a guilt to be endured. We don’t feel like self-care tips are something you should have to wait for. You are deserving of accessible and immediate tools to help you feel your pleasure without guilt.

How do I start practicing self-care?

We believe that self-care is an action that you take for yourself. You choose this act of care to nourish those soft places within you that exist as fuel for the sharper parts of life. Anything can count as self-care as long as you’re choosing it with intention and passion, and the purpose is to replenish and nurture instead of just to survive.

So what’s a weird and wonderful thing you love? Think about the things that make you, you. Then, invite those hobbies into your life and schedule with the same uncompromising time you carve out for doing laundry and your kid’s extracurriculars. If you’re coming up blank, we’ll get you started.

Hobbies (and stuff) that definitely count as self-care

1.Movement.

You don’t have to quantify it with a name, time or membership. Any way you move your body that brings you joy and pride is a wonderful way to care for yourself. Dance, skate, lift, breathe, walk, run, wiggle or float on, my friend!

2. Daily practice.

Whether it’s writing in a journal, a repeat playlist, or even a Netflix mini-watch, choosing something you return to every day for the purpose of centering yourself in thought and theory is an excellent way to care for yourself.

3. Creating.

From fiber arts to making dinner, making something with your own skill and energy can be really empowering. Consider the ways that art has entered your life. Think broadly—creative cooking definitely counts! Then, apply the incredible power you already have to create to a nourishing practice of care.

4. Imagination.

Maybe you love to read, game, or watch films. These are all great ways to remove yourself from reality and create space for yourself through imagination. Give yourself the space to play through the infinite possibility of playing pretend in whatever way you please.

5. Rest.

Yep. Rest can be care too! But we don’t mean sleep—like at night or an extra hour in the morning. Rest for self-care should be an intentional return to softness in your life. Maybe that means resting your body, your mind, or your spirit. It could be a combination of all three—so long as it’s what you need right now.

Affirmations for letting go of hurt, guilt and shame

Usually when we include an affirmations section in our blogs, we give you a few to get started. But instead, we want to try something a little bit different today. Your affirmations should be just as personalized to your passion in this moment as your self-care is, so let’s take a look at how to create one.

When you’re developing an affirmation to go alongside your guilt-free self-care practice, take a moment to yourself to look inward. Visit with the deep, dark and vulnerable spaces in your mind as you take a few deep breaths.

When you’re ready, ask yourself : What do I need above all else right now, and how can I find it?

Then, create an affirmation that empowers you to seek it in your self-care practice. The format can look like this:

I’m seeking _____ and I deserve the space to find it through _____.

This is your permission to seek joy without punishment

Whew. That was illuminating, wasn’t it? We’re so glad you’ve joined us on this journey of radically re-thinking the way we engage in self-care and what it can mean in your life.

If you’re feeling empowered but hoping for more guidance around separating yourself from guilt and shame around caring for yourself, Luna Joy is currently open to new clients in 13 states.

Looking for other things to help you relate to yourself, self-care and the beautiful new relationship you’re developing? We recommend:

Unconditional Positive Regard by Luna Joy
Shed the Shame Podcast by Jenny Whitens

Finding Self-Care in Something you Already love