Embrace Your Weird For A More Authentic You
What does it mean to be normal? You might have a clear picture of what that should look like, or just be painfully aware that you’re not it. No matter where you’re at in the journey to self-acceptance, we’re familiar with what it feels like to feel out of place, unaccepted, and just otherwise weird.
But we’re disrupting the narrative that normal is a good thing. You are already wonderful exactly as you are, and today, we want to show you why your weirdness is an integral part of that wonderful experience of you. From why you’re feeling out of sorts to why it can empower your life to embrace your weird, we want to share a slice of visibility and help you find your seat at the table together.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Reasons you might feel like you don’t fit in
Though there are a million little things that can make you feel a little less than normal, here are some of the things we hear most often from our clients who don’t feel that they fit in.
You are childless
Over 86% of American women are mothers and you aren’t. You can’t relate to the strife or stress of parenting willful children blossoming into their own people, and it feels lonely. If you’re hoping to be a mother but it hasn’t happened for you yet, this feeling may compound with a sense of failure and loss.
No matter the circumstance, being childless makes you feel weird. There’s a gap in understanding the lifestyle of your peers that wasn’t there before. You’re feeling the distinction daily and sometimes, trying to listen and relate to them feels as alien as life on Mars.
….by choice
The global population recently passed 8 billion at an all-time high and you aren’t looking to add to it. Whether you’re loving being the childless auntie to your friends’ and family’s kids or you’re just not a huge fan of tiny humans, you’ve made a decision not to add children to the hierarchy of your life.
You’re a stay at home parent
Everyone around you is career driven and developing skills that look good on paper and in practice. But you can’t relate. Your most exercised skill is time management and your recent triumph is laundry-related. It feels a little weird to answer (rude) questions about what you do all day, and you feel like you’re underachieving when everyone’s talking about their tiring week at work.
You’re tired too, but the way you experience life, time, joy and exhaustion are all markedly different than those with externally enriched lifestyles. You love what you do, but it never feels, well, normal.
You’re in an alternative relationship
You’re not married. And if you are, you’re married in a way that you don’t often see in stock photo frame images. Alternate relationships come in many forms. Some of them are the kinds you’re thinking—queer relationships, polyamorous ones or even life partnered but not married.
But there are other ways to have alternate or unconventional relationships that might make you feel a little weird at weddings or during group dates. If you’re in a multi partner relationship, single by choice or part of a relationship where multiple cultures, religions or races meet, you know exactly what it means to experience love alongside confusion (from others, unfortunately).
You don’t dress/look like others
Are you heavily tattooed or pierced? Perhaps you’re disabled, like your hair funky colors, have prominent scarring, or wear hijab or other coverings. Wearing your identity out loud means that you’ll always be that part of you first before anyone else learns about the magical multitudes of you.
Your external appearance can make you feel weird or alienated in spaces where you’re newly present. It can make you feel like you have something to explain or something to prove or leave you feeling like you don’t belong at all.
How perfectionism impacts your mental health
Normal is boring and maybe a little overrated, yet it’s an expectation that surrounds you in most of your life. Trying to be something you’re not can contribute to an overwhelming sense of dread and a need for control as you grasp at presenting yourself to the world in the way it wants to perceive you. It’s not something you want to do, but instead, something you feel you must do in order to fit in. Along the way, trying to fit the mold may turn you into a bit of a perfectionist.
Being perfect in a way that others expect leaves no space for you to accept yourself as you really are, and it can contribute to mental health struggles that impact your wellbeing. Hallmarked by overwhelm, a need for control, anxiety, and often depression, perfectionism happens when you feel you must be or do something flawlessly in order to be accepted. As you can imagine, this isn’t great for your mental health. So what can you do instead when performing perfectionism is all you know?
Why you should embrace your weirdness
Being weird, unconventional, or otherwise different than someone expects you to be is not a bad thing. It might be painful at first to reject expectations, particularly if opinions and acceptance mean a lot to you, but choosing to wear your weird out loud is not an all-or-nothing experience.
Speaking up can help you shine
When you don’t speak up for what you need or who you are, you press yourself back into the discomfort of someone else’s box. In her inspiring TED Talk, self-proclaimed troublemaker Luvvie Ajayi Jones reminds us that “your silence serves no one.” That reminder seems simple, but with it comes a reminder that when you step into your voice, you can step out of your comfort zone and find new ways to shine.
Compassionate curiosity will transform your worldview
Weird people are often said to be more creative, more reflective, and to stand out in a crowd in ways that can be positively disruptive. In order to connect with your own creative side, try curiosity on for size.
Get curious about yourself, about others, and about the world. Invite compassion into the way you’re asking questions as you move through life, and let the answers truly permeate your experience. Compassion is created in the space left by expectation when you engage curiosity instead. To embrace your weird, let curiosity guest star in your life for a while.
You can change the world—even for one person
This one’s short and simple. Someone is watching you move through the world and wishing they could be like you. Whether that person is your own conscience, a child, a loved one, or even just your younger self, make them proud. Creating space for your authentic self is the best way to change the world and show that person they can be their whole, true self too.
When you choose to be a more authentic you, you buy into your own comfort instead of someone else’s. You can do this at whatever pace you choose, and there is no wrong way to show up for yourself in your own life. From baby steps to radical acceptance, every way you move matters.
Embracing your weirdness and your truth, instead of conforming to the standards society has set for you, is a personal journey. You can expect to feel a sense of loss or find hardship along the way, but you can also anticipate a celebration of truth and open living that feels out of your reach right now.
You deserve all of these things and more. At Luna Joy, we are proud to offer support to every iteration of wonderful, weird, and all of the above.
