Mental Health, Miscarriage & Midnights
Though mental health has always been a prevalent pop culture feature, it’s only recently that it’s become a positive place to start conversations that we’ve long had in quiet corners of our lives. With conversations about mental health showing up more regularly in the media, we want to use today’s blog to focus on important depictions of women’s stories of mental health, miscarriage, and menstrual mishaps.
In recent years, topics around mental health and women’s health, in general, have made their way into the public eye in a whole new way. And to be honest, we think it’s about time that we started to see stories and hear songs that reflect the experiences of women beyond who they are (or are no longer) dating.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Music and miscarriage
After its release in late October, Taylor Swift fans felt a kinship with the star that went deeper than the openly vulnerable themes she’s known for. On her track “Bigger than the Whole Sky,” Swift croons about loss. The song itself is melancholy, but there’s a line at the end of the chorus that drew parallels in the lives of women who have experienced a miscarriage:
“I’m never gonna meet
What could've been, would've been
What should've been you
What could've been, would've been you."
Bigger than the whole sky by Taylor Swift
In a world of pop songs and possibilities, it was both painful and refreshing for fans who caught the connection to their own experiences. Swift isn't alone in speaking up about the unique griefs of loss that women experience. Throughout her career, Halsey has spoken openly about her own experiences with infertility that recalled her own memories of loss and the deep desire to be a mother despite her Endometriosis diagnosis.
These songs, with their vividly emotional lyrics and emotional depth, are opening up opportunities for conversations that once hid in the corners of our lives. With every verse, they’re opening up an opportunity to share our stories with others and find support where pain once lived in isolation.
(Red) Pandas and periods
In 2022’s Disney-Pixar film Turning Red, periods take a leading role in the form of a shapeshifting 13-year-old girl who turns into a red panda. Combining an incredible combination of pop-music iconography with Chinese culture and the rite of passage of first periods, this movie is a powerhouse of Asian mental health representation in a lot of ways. Unique among them is that the storyline is entirely centered around Chinese-Canadian teen Mei getting her first period.
The film doesn’t shy away from the scary, isolating, frustrating and emotional experience that this can be. It so unabashedly confronts these truths that reviews seemed defensive from the getgo—which makes sense when you think about how willfully in denial we are as a culture about the impact of periods. Conversations around first menstruation and beyond seem relegated to bedroom chats and hushed tones, but honestly, we aren't sure that’s doing anyone any favors.
Young girls aren’t talking about what’s happening to their bodies, minds, and relationships as they enter puberty with periods. Older women never really did either. And to show for it, we’ve got a lot of grown folks stigmatizing red pandas, periods, and young girls as a whole.
The weight of silence and stigma
Stigma can trap us in the most well-intentioned cells of isolation. When we don’t have the space to speak freely and vulnerably about our truths, it doesn’t stop them from happening to us. Instead, it creates a deafening silence that alienates us from our peers. It leaves women grieving the loss of their pregnancies in isolation after they were encouraged not to share their pregnancies “just in case.”
It leaves young girls confused and frustrated about what’s happening to their bodies and minds as hormones crest and crescendo in cyclical patterns they haven’t fully grasped. It leaves women of all ages to the loneliness of hormonal shifts, changes, and responses that follow some invisible pattern that’s tied together by some thread we can’t follow since we can’t speak openly about our experiences with mental health.
How sharing stories breaks the stigma
Before conversations like the ones that are taking place in Midnights and Turning Red, we only had representation that painted mental illness as the villain in (predominantly male) stories of horror and fear. There was no normalization of mental health experiences that are unique to women.
Sharing our stories and vulnerability in accessible ways creates space for grief and community where stigma once bound us in silence instead. It creates a conversation around the PTSD and struggle that up to ⅓ of women who lose pregnancies may have. Popular media like Midnights, Turning Red and even the hit show, This is Us can help to open the conversations and, from there, we can prepare to continue them in our own lives and communities.
Does it help to see these depictions of mental health in the media?
Exposure to conversations of mental health themes has a positive impact on mental health conversations in a broad context, research shows. There is no easy answer to knowing when and how you’ll best receive these vulnerable glimpses into the lives of other women’s experiences. Some may find these songs and stories to be triggering during their own grief cycles and loss. These conversations are sensitive and they can be difficult, so perhaps treading with caution around your access and awareness is the best way to ensure that your personal boundaries are respected.
It makes sense that there is a culture of caution and trigger warnings around mental health conversations. They create a barrier for those who need it, a safety net to stop yourself from wandering somewhere you’re not quite ready to go. While your personal experience with the impact of these depictions may vary based on the circumstance of your exposure, there is so much power in creating space for those who feel supported by it.
If you have experienced miscarriage and are ready to find support in the form of one to one or group mental health counseling, Luna Joy is currently accepting clients in 13 states. Join us on social media to follow along or book your appointment today.
