Everything You Forgot About Puberty for Parents
Are you finding yourself feeling overwhelmed by the thought of your child entering the world of puberty and adolescence? You’re not alone.
Navigating puberty and adolescence can be a stressful experience for everybody. It’s important to make sure you’re prepared to talk to your child about the changes they’re experiencing and to provide them with the support they need to grow up safely. Sounds easy, right? There’s a bit more to it than that, so let’s talk it out.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
AH! Puberty Panic has set in
Right so, you’ve noticed some changes in your cherubic child. Their words are getting a little more acerbic, and honestly, their aroma is too. You’re feeling those door slams, moody nights, and sudden bursts of energy in a whole new way. This has been a long time coming, and while you knew it would happen eventually, you definitely weren’t ready now.
We get it.
Puberty is scary, and you’re overwhelmed just thinking about it. But it’s happening so what do you do now?
First, you feel your feelings. Have your freak out, let it come in waves, and then, keep loving your child as you make your way through these uncharted waters day by day.
The general signs of puberty
In order to talk about how the body changes, it helps to be aware of the signs that your kiddo is entering these stages of development. Common indicators of puberty and adolescence include physical changes like growth spurts, changes in body shape, and the development of secondary sexual characteristics. Things like breast buds, body hairs, and pungent new odors can be noticeable signs that times are a-changin’. It’s important that as you begin to notice these, you don’t shame your child for them.
There’s more though! Your child may begin to have changes in the way they feel and express themselves through mood, emotions, and behavior. This may include increased irritability, a desire for more independence, and an interest in exploring relationships with peers. You may find that your moody tween now wants privacy yet feels slighted, or they may be asking all kinds of questions you have no idea how to answer—but either way, you’re definitely feeling the change in the way they engage with you and others.
Learning to talk about awkward changes
Recognizing these new things is one thing but knowing how to talk about them can feel like jumping into the void when you’re certain it’s full of sharks. The most important things to keep in mind are safety and openness. Be sure to keep the conversations age-appropriate, and answer any questions your child has in a straightforward and honest way.
It’s likely that your child isn’t going to want to talk about the way they’re feeling or come to you with questions about sex. It’s also important that you’re prepared to talk about it anyway. Get ready to get down into the nitty gritty and answer as honestly as you can about the things they’re experiencing. When it comes to body things, respond from a supportive and neutral point of view in order to effectively offer a place to escape from the world’s judgments about bodies that we all face every day. Body-safe experiences in puberty can be a powerful indicator of self image throughout life.
You may choose to share some of your own experiences, but you can also reference things that you feel can help you answer questions in a more relatable way. Trust your gut and your kid to find the right way forward, but try not to shy away from sitting in this discomfort together in order to find growth. There’s a careful balance between invading their privacy and supporting their growth—watching your child’s cues can help you find it.
How to ensure your child is growing up safely
Support is the foundation to your relationship in this new period of development, but there are other steps you can take to help them grow up safely. Make sure you’re aware of the online activities they’re engaging in, and take steps to ensure they’re safe online.
Encourage your child to develop healthy habits like moving their body with joy, eating fulfilling meals, and getting plenty of sleep (even if it’s on a weird schedule). You may also want to consider having a conversation with them about extracurriculars that can help them access supportive peers, develop important life skills and build new relationships outside of school.
Ensure you’re coping with these changes too
It can be hard to catch your breath as you navigate this maze of intensity, but it’s important to take care of yourself too. Parenting a child during puberty and adolescence can be a stressful experience, so dedicate some energy to finding ways to take care of your own mental health.
This can look a lot of ways, and we’re really not fussy about how you do it, but we must insist you try. Here are a couple of ideas to help you cope:
Make time for yourself each day, whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, or engaging in a hobby
Connect with friends and family, and don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Navigating puberty and adolescence can be a challenging experience for both parents and children, but you don’t have to go it alone. Lean on one another, as well as your broader support system.
You’re already a step ahead—by being aware of the common signs of these stages of development, you’ve opened up the avenue for healthy conversations. You’re doing a great job of helping your child stay safe and healthy through puberty. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way and remember: if you’re looking for a little more support, LunaJoy is here for you and your blossoming teen.
