The Invisible Load of Feminity: Understanding Mental Health Impacts for Women
You are not Spiderman, yet you live your life defined by a spiderweb of rules and superhero-sized responsibilities that you carry the weight of alone. This complex web of expectations, stigmas, and pressures that society places on us affects every life stage. Its ever-changing messaging about who we are and how we must perform in the world has a profound effect on our mental health.
At Luna Joy, we want to shed light on the invisible load of femininity, recognize your incredible power, and explore how online support and therapy can help you find guidance and relief.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
The Cultural and Situational Stigmas and Expectations
We're often pushed into traditional gender roles, confined by stereotypes that limit our potential. The media further perpetuates these ideals, showcasing unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection that we're expected to meet. These pressures can leave us feeling inadequate, constantly striving to meet unrealistic standards.
In addition to cultural expectations, women face unique burdens in various life situations. Whether it's the pressures of motherhood and the unattainable standards of being a perfect parent or the challenges of balancing a successful career and personal life, the invisible load of femininity can weigh heavily on our shoulders, impacting our mental health.
What is the “invisible load of femininity” & its impact on your mental health?
The invisible load of femininity is an intricate web of expectations and pressures that can weigh heavily on our mental health. As women (who are definitely not Spiderman), it's important to recognize and address the toll it takes on us.
In short, the toll of the invisible load is a sum of all the stuff that no one seems to notice, yet we never get to let go of. It’s the solutions, the support, the adapting, and the re-negotiating. It’s balancing everyone’s emotional needs and responding compassionately while also considering our own emotional and hormonal well-being, which often falls far too low on the hierarchy of life needs in our worlds.
Recognizing the Signs of the Invisible Load
While a list of symptoms is helpful, that doesn’t always give you the information you need to see familiar patterns from your own life as a sign of this invisible load. Instead, let’s talk about the little moments when you may notice your reactions and feel them more acutely.
Self-Doubt: You find yourself questioning your worth or ability in situations where your confidence is rocked even a little. Maybe you try on a new outfit and it doesn’t look the way you imagined, or you get edits back on a piece of work that you weren’t expecting. These adjustments may be small, but you feel massively impacted by them at a deeper level.
Burnout: You’re tired before you even get out of bed in the morning, but you feel like you slept okay. The idea of fun feels like too much work, and you’re burnt out from the things you enjoy even though you want to do them.
Relationship stress: You have literally nothing left to give in your relationships. You’re doing the work of keeping them going and reacting appropriately to the emotions of the other parties (your partner, kids, or parents especially), but you just can’t stay engaged in doing more than managing those relationships and it’s affecting your ability to thrive in them.
Physical stuff: Headaches. Fatigue. Muscle Cramps. While this might be hormonal, managing those hormones and the physical impacts of them is absolutely a part of the invisible load of womanhood. Your hormones have a very real impact on how your body functions, and it can make your regular routine feel like agony.
Can online therapy help you manage your stress?
In the digital age, online support and therapy have emerged as valuable resources for addressing the mental health impacts of the invisible load of femininity. As we mentioned above, the increased convenience can lower the burden of therapy and help you to access the care you crave from the comfort of home (or your car parked in the driveway—we aren’t judging, promise!).
The confidentiality and anonymity provided by secure therapy platforms create safe spaces for open and honest conversations on your terms. Many services, like ours, also come with the benefits of a support community, and additional opportunities to expand your mental healthcare through related services like our medication management and other partnerships.
Here’s what you can do right now to lighten the load
Set boundaries
Establish clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Learn to say "no" when necessary and prioritize self-care without guilt and practice it with the same compassion you do everything else in life. And remember, not all boundaries have to be a no! You can also set boundaries around how much time or energy you spend on something, or even how you approach a task before you start it.
Practice self-care
Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. This could include hobbies, exercise, mindfulness practices, or simply taking time for yourself, but it should also be more than that. As part of your self-care, consider delegating some of your tasks or narrating the emotional and intellectual efforts of your responsibilities. Give it a voice so that the full scope of your being has breathing room. You might find yourself feeling a little more supported and understood when you do, which will help you to challenge the status quo while getting that sweet, sweet self-care.
Challenge expectations
The role of a woman comes with so many societal expectations as a mother, wife, and just a general human being—so let’s start pushing back on that. A great way to dip your toes into this one is by questioning your own expectations of yourself. When a new pressure or strain arises, ask yourself why you feel compelled to do it/solve it/be the answer? Sit with the answer and think about how you want to handle it instead of doing what you assume you should, because the standards of society aren’t yours to own and manage all the time. Recognize that you don't have to conform to unrealistic standards and embrace your unique qualities and strengths.
Seek support
Each step you take towards managing overwhelm, stress, and the invisible load is a step towards reclaiming your mental well-being and living a more balanced and fulfilling life. Online support and therapy, in particular, offer a viable solution, providing guidance, understanding, and relief. These forms of support are great because they don’t increase the demand on your schedule as exponentially as having to travel to appointments and find childcare to cover you while you’re away. You can step into privacy in a space you’re already feeling comfortable, and get the support you need without as much added stress.
Together, we can lighten the load, empowering ourselves to live authentically and joyfully. Don't hesitate to take the first step towards a lighter, more fulfilling life—reach out to Luna Joy and let us support you on your journey. Letting go of this invisible load is a journey, and it's important to be patient and kind to yourself along the way.
Teach your daughters, sisters, colleagues, and loved ones to juggle the fruits of the labor you’ve long done. And while you’re doing it, don’t forget to settle among the groves and enjoy some for yourself. That fruit is sweet, dear reader, and you deserve to enjoy every bite.
