Why ADHD Goes Undiagnosed in Women and How to Navigate a Diagnosis in Adulthood
Today, we're diving deep into the fascinating world of ADHD in women. We'll uncover the lesser-known symptoms, tackle the challenges of getting diagnosed as an adult, and equip you with empowering tips for navigating life with ADHD. Get ready to explore what it's really like to have ADHD as a grown woman and discover how to thrive on this unique journey.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Why is ADHD in women harder to diagnose?
For one, it’s not talked about enough what ADHD looks like in women. Or when you’re diagnosed as an adult. The symptoms of ADHD in women can be more subtle compared to men. While men tend to display hyperactivity and impulsivity, women may exhibit internal restlessness, difficulty with attention and focus, and chronic disorganization. It's crucial to be aware of these nuanced symptoms to accurately identify ADHD in women.
3 Reasons ADHD Goes Undiagnosed in Women
Stereotypes: The perception that ADHD only affects hyperactive boys creates a gender bias in diagnosis and leads to underidentification of women with ADHD.
2. Shame: Women may feel ashamed or inadequate due to societal expectations, causing them to hide or mask their struggles and avoid seeking help.
3. Silence: Many healthcare professionals may not be fully informed about the unique symptoms of ADHD in women, leading to missed diagnoses.
Unmasking the differences of ADHD in women
Society expects women to be organized, focused, and attentive, leaving women with ADHD to develop coping mechanisms to camouflage their challenges. This masking—combined with an expectation of ADHD to present like an overactive child—often limits the perceived understanding of ADHD. Although these coping skills may be similar to what you learn in ADHD therapy, the undercurrent of why things seem so hard for you and not for others is an ache that demands to be heard and cannot be solved with a sophisticated organizational system.
As no intentional research was done on women with ADHD at all until 2017, it’s no wonder so many go undiagnosed. Additionally, women with ADHD may also experience other mental health concerns like anxiety and depression. Those diagnoses are more familiar, so even when you’re not responsive to the treatment, you may be pushed again and again into that box, further complicating the recognition of your ADHD symptoms.
What is masking?
Masking refers to the way someone (particularly a neurodivergent person) copes with the world and canouflages their symptoms so they can better adapt to their environment. It involves consciously or unconsciously adopting behaviors, such as hyperfocus, overcompensation, or perfectionism, to appear more organized, attentive, or socially adept. Masking can make it challenging to recognize and diagnose ADHD in women, as their struggles may be hidden beneath a veneer of competence, leading to a delay in receiving appropriate support and understanding.
Your hormones and ADHD
The intricate dance of hormones throughout a woman's life, from the menstrual cycle to pregnancy and menopause, can impact the way ADHD shows up as well as symptom severity and management strategies. Let's delve deeper into how these hormonal changes intertwine with ADHD and explore strategies to navigate these unique challenges.
Menstrual Cycle Effects: For women with ADHD, hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle can impact symptom severity. Some women may notice an exacerbation of symptoms, such as increased forgetfulness, impulsivity, or difficulty concentrating, during certain phases of their cycle. Understanding these fluctuations can help women develop strategies to manage their symptoms effectively.
Pregnancy and Menopause: Pregnancy and menopause are significant life stages that can influence ADHD symptoms in women. Hormonal shifts during pregnancy and postpartum can bring about changes in symptom presentation, requiring adaptive strategies. Similarly, menopause, with its hormonal changes, can also affect ADHD symptoms. Open communication with healthcare providers is crucial during these phases to ensure comprehensive care.
So real talk, what’s it like to have ADHD as a grown woman?
While a clinical understanding of ADHD is imporant, we’ve asked a team member with ADHD to create a diary entry about just a fraction of her day because lived experience is a valuable way to understand neurodivergence.
Dear Diary:
Today, like every day, felt like a whirlwind. The alarm jolted me awake, instantly flooding my mind with a torrent of thoughts. It's overwhelming—the constant rush of responsibilities and tasks that never seem to end. I am tired before I even get out of bed and honestly, I’m over it.
I rush through my morning, doing 85 things and finishing none while feeling like I’m on a hamster wheel of stimulation and stagnation. I can’t help but envy the methodic completion of tasks as I watch my partner (and even my kids- which makes me feel SO guilty). They ate their breakfast and got ready without getting derailed or angry, finishing tasks while I bounced around with racing thoughts, struggling to stay grounded.
Work was a battle. My thoughts wandered, refusing to settle so while sometimes I was able to balance 3 or 4 complex tasks and meet everyone’s demands in record time, I couldn’t always. There were periods of lost time where I did nothing but overthink as time slipped away. Concentration was absent and doubts crept in, overshadowing my earlier accomplishments. Why do others seem to effortlessly navigate their tasks while I'm left feeling scattered and inadequate?
When I get home, I want to be productive, I had a plan for dinner and I was so excited that I put out the- oh no, I forgot to defrost the chicken. Well, that’s fine. I make a new plan but before I can make sure we have everything, my kids are in needing help with homework and they’re both talking and the kitchen timer is beeping because the dishwasher is done and I’ve barely decompressed from work so now I’m overwhelmed again. I keep going, but it’s hard. The chaos continues—homework, dinner, bath time. The mental strain wears me down, and I crave a moment of calm amidst the storm.
When everyone’s in bed, I sink into my safe space with a blanket and zone out. It takes all the energy I’ve got left (even though my mind is still racing, like no one told it my body is utterly tapped out) and I need a break before I can sleep. Living with undiagnosed ADHD is an emotional rollercoaster. It's an invisible struggle that weighs on my soul. But I won't let it define me. I'm determined to seek help, to find understanding and support.
Barriers: Stigma and fear when dealing with a mental health diagnosis
Living with ADHD and seeking help can be accompanied by stigma and fear. A lot of that comes from the things we’ve discussed here, but it’s important to know that you deserve to feel empowered in your journey of diagnosis and treatment.
Here are just a few of the ways that stigma might impact you:
Downplaying or dismissing the frustrations you experience on a daily basis
Ignoring symptoms that feel like they may burden others
Isolating yourself socially to avoid being criticized
Forcing yourself to over-perform (compensate or mask) to “make up” for perceived shortcomings
Having shallower, less fulfilling friendships because they overwhelm you.
And here are some of the things that might feel scary about getting diagnosed:
Fear of being judged
Others viewing you as weak or incompetent
Losing friends or relationships
Work consequences
Added stress in your own life
The cost of treatment
All of these barriers are valid and they can really add up and take a toll on you and your lived experience. But the good news is that you don’t have to mange it alone. Let’s talk about what comes next.
Navigating ADHD, mental health support and diagnosis as an adult
Living with undiagnosed ADHD can be challenging, but remember, you're not alone. Today, right now, there is something you can do to begin to learn more about ADHD and women. You can do reserach into the clinical presentation of women with ADHD, and also explore your favourite socials (responsiblity and mindfully please!) to find information from others who have experience living with ADHD.
Then, when you’re ready, you can begin to build a support network around your discoveries that can walk with you through every step of your journal to getting an adult ADHD diagnosis as a woman. At Luna Joy, we’re proud to offer neurodivergent-friendly support and treatment options for women with ADHD at every life stage.
