How to Help Your Anxious Child as a Mom
Watching your child battle anxiety can make you feel helpless, but you are not at a loss for opportunities to offer ways to overcome the anxiety your kiddo is facing. From near or far, let’s look at the ways you can help keep the anxiety at bay.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
What are signs of childhood anxiety?
For the most part, anxiety has no classical appearance even though it plays havoc with your emotions. Just like in adults, each trigger can cause unique expressions of anxious tendencies. Every child will experience anxiety in their own way, but there are some signs and symptoms you can look out for to help you support your child.
Some of the most common signs that your child may be feeling anxious are:
Picking hair, nails, or clothes
Increased agitation
Restlessness or insomnia
Rapid cycling emotions
Fear of failure or criticism
Struggling to concentrate
Dipping grades or athletic performance
Change in eating habits
Head or stomach pain
You can find more common symptoms of anxiety in children here but because the list is so widely varied, it’s best to trust your child and your instincts. If you are worried, ask. If you’re not sure they’re comfortable sharing what they’re feeling with you, continue to check in as regularly as you can and seek the support of a licensed mental health professional if your uncertainty becomes fear or symptoms seem to worsen rapidly.
The most common types of anxiety for kids
Much like there are many ways to feel anxiety, several things can trigger the nerve-racking experience.
Social Anxiety
Often brought on by new or unclear experiences in social situations, this kind of anxiety is common in adolescents and teens navigating social and personal independence. Understanding their current role in a social environment as well as identifying where they’d like to be within that experience can be challenging in the best of times.
For middle-aged children and teens, it becomes a complex house of cards with many variables and changeable needs. It’s a lot for anyone to navigate and, for a child already prone to anxiety, can make the most mundane daily activities into a minefield of stress.
Separation Anxiety
Most often associated with toddlers, separation anxiety can make a comeback in middle childhood and early adulthood as children crave the consistency of their earlier parental relationships and fear taking the next step into the great unknown. Growing older is the goal and often the ideal, but it brings about uncertainty in so many ways.
Separation anxiety in your older child may be brought on by a fear of losing closeness, a lack of confidence, or just an overwhelm when considering the possibility of the world beyond what they’ve already experienced. Life can be scary, and independence might feel like a punishment instead of a gift in these moments.
Situational Anxiety
From tests to roadtrips or even using the bathroom, there are a variety of situations that might bring on anxious feelings. Situational anxiety is caused by a heightened response to particular stimuli and contrary to previous thought, it doesn’t always mean that it’s associated with trauma or negative memory.
Anxiety that’s brought on by experiences can be particularly difficult to manage because knowing they’re coming may bring anxiety on ahead of time without alleviating the anxious feelings about it.
Here’s how to help your child when you’re together
If your kiddo experiences anxiety or panic attacks when you’re with them, you can be their first line of defense. Help your child to get comfortable in the situation or moment that they’re in when the anxiety appears. Practice techniques like grounding or counting even breaths together to get them through the most intense moments.
If your child responds to verbal reassurance, you may consider offering it to them until they feel more in control of their emotions. Short affirmations like “You are safe” or “I will support you” can help empower them against their anxiety.
You can empower them to be their own advocate too
You are not powerless simply because you cannot always be with your kiddo. If anxiety strikes when they’re feeling alone or without a source of understanding support, you can help them manage it by supporting them in developing coping skills that they can use independently.
From fidget jewelry to help them focus nervous energy to reminder techniques like affirmations or a playlist on their phone to bring them back to a safer moment, anxiety triggers can be quieted through consistent use of these (or similar) techniques.
Can my anxiety affect my child?
If this is a well-mannered way of asking if you caused your child’s anxiety: there is no easy answer to this question. The truth is that anxiety does indeed have genetic factors, and we are our children’s most impactful models as they learn how to interact with the world.
While we may not be the direct cause of their anxiety (and controlling parents are more likely to create anxiety in their children than anxious ones), our actions and our relationship with our emotions have an impact.
While this knowledge may not be easy to hear or the most helpful thing to fixate on when you’re in the middle of anxiety spirals yourself, it’s worth using the anxiety symptoms observed in your child as a mirror. This may be the motivation you need to make a change in your own life to support the life you’d like for your child.
Quick Tips to help you support your anxious child
Remind your child that their anxiety isn’t a flaw or failure.
Observe to offer support, but not to offer judgment.
Share opportunities for your child to offer feedback on what helps.
Ask for their opinion - and listen to the answers they give.
Don’t let anxiety become a consequence or tool.
Don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements
When anxiety becomes a roadblock to accessing daily life or prevents your child from feeling empowered in moving toward their brightest future, it’s time to ask for support. Being able to recognize what anxiety is saying and meet those worries in a neutral space will help give your child their power back while allowing you to get educated on ways to support them along the way.
Anxiety is isolating, but your child is not alone. Contact LunaJoy today and let us help you in helping them.
