Corralling Curiosity During the Middle Childhood Age
Middle childhood is an exciting and challenging time in the family life cycle where unique parenting support may be required. In this stage, the newborn, toddler, and young child who needed significant care is coming into who they are and pursuing independence from their parents. Learning to navigate discipline, independence, family time and friends are all common concerns of parents of kids in this age group.
Today we’re talking all things middle childhood development, about how to provide boundaries and support to the growing miniature person under your roof. For motherhood and parenting support and beyond, LunaJoy is here to support you through therapy and wellness coaching.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
What are the middle childhood development stages?
Middle childhood is when children are between the ages of 6-11. This is an important time for their mental and physical growth. A child's experiences during this time will influence what their adolescence will be like, which later shapes how they engage in the world as adults.
By this age, your child has begun going to school and is starting to form a routine and relationships outside of the home environment. While some children have been previously exposed to peer settings through preschool and daycare, during middle childhood, the primary activity in their life is school. Understandably, your child begins to focus more on friendships and relationships outside of the home. They have a stronger desire to be accepted by their peers.
During this time, your child is beginning to understand their place in the world and the roles they can have as they start to imagine the future. Children at these ages are beginning to show increased empathy, and you may start noticing increased concern for others. Parents will also discover that their child can express their thoughts and feelings more easily.
Moms will also find as their child gets older, their daily experiences and interactions with others become more complex. Between 9-11, their child begins to form stronger emotional relationships with their peers and share more with their friends. It's a challenging age as they become more aware of their bodies and the starting phases of puberty.
How Parents Can Provide Support in Middle Childhood
At this point in their development, your child is beginning to step into their unique identity and is increasingly curious about the world they are in. Even in this period that seems to fly by, parents can do a lot to support the increasingly expanding roles of their child.
Find new ways to show affection
To help your child develop the emotional skills they'll need for adulthood, parents should take time to make sure their child is still receiving affection. As they age, your child may want fewer snuggles, so parents can find they can meet their needs at this age by taking time to talk with them. Notice, we intentionally used the phrase “talk with them” not “talk to them.” Conversations where you set out to teach them a lesson may have a time and place, but learning about the intracacies of your child’s world needs no agenda other than to listen. Staying curious about what your child thinks of the future and their goals, you can help develop their internal moral compass and motivation meter, as well as a relationship that will serve you well coming into the full-blown teenage years.
Respect your boundaries and your children will learn to as well
In middle childhood, you will find that your kiddo is trying to test the rules more and more. This is a natural and expected part of pre-teenagerdom, and isn’t a sign that something is wrong with the “precious child” you once knew. It just means they’re growing up. To help them learn to respect your boundaries, you need to respect those boundaries as well. This includes first setting reasonable standards and holding your child accountable to the consequences of failing to follow through. This is the best way you can support them during this age as they begin to understand the purpose of boundaries.
Encourage Positive Character Development
Another important tool of parents to children in the middle childhood developmental stage is to choose their words with intention. Your child is very impressionable at this stage and the words we use to describe them really do matter.
Some important considerations of this is to ensure you’re promoting good behavior rather than focusing on traits (even positive ones) in your kids. An example of this is swapping out "you practiced so hard for your recital," for "you are so talented!" We want to embrace the positive skills that they’re learning and not apply judgment to the outcome. Another way to watch your words is when you’re feeling frustrated by your kid and you’re unconvinced that there’s anything good to say about them. Reframing the way you think about their behavior can actually go a long way to help reinforce your patience with them.
Spend time together as a family
Families can develop confidence in each other by doing things together, such as reading, playing games, or being active together. It’s important to have these positive memories of family time, although as your child grows, you’ll need to balance this with their growing desire for independence.
Parenting Support for You
As you are teaching your kiddo what it is like to be in other people's shoes, how to interpret others' actions, and the best way to act accordingly, you can support yourself by remembering to do the same and lead by example. If you're arguing, step away and take a moment to breathe, then come back to resolve any issues.
Delegate!
Take some more time for yourself by giving your child age-appropriate responsibilities. For example, asking them to set the table each night before dinner or washing the dirty laundry in their room before friends can come over. Teaching them these skills makes them feel like a valuable part of the family while also learning that everyone deserves a moment for a rest (even moms!), and tasks should be shared.
Don’t play the comparison game.
Support yourself by not comparing. Set an example for your middle childhood aged kid, and don't compare yourself to other moms, parents, or families. Children this age are highly influenced by peer pressure, and you want to show them that you are a confident mom in what you do and who you are.
Ask for help.
You want to teach your kid that it is okay to need help and ask for it. LunaJoy can provide you with parenting support, mental health services and wellness coaching, including more specific assistance about how to parent your child in this transitional period.
Interested in knowing more and developing the parenting skills necessary to navigate middle childhood? Set up a telehealth appointment for parenting support today and learn so that you may teach.
