An Hour in My Feelings: Talking About Emotional Intensity
Do you feel like you go through all these emotions on any given day? Maybe even in an hour, a minute or a fleeting moment?
Your friends, partners, or parents have told you you’re “too much,” and the song “Liability” by Lorde still hits a little too close to home. Someone (or a lot of someone) has said you’re too sensitive. You’ve gone to therapy for sorting out your feelings, but you’re still stuck in them.
You’re always feeling some type of way and, while that’s a quirk you’ve come to embrace, you sometimes wonder if you’re the only one who gets overwhelmed by feeling too many emotions at once. If you move through life by feeling your way along, this blog is for you.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
An accidental art metaphor: Can you relate?
Sometimes I think my emotions are competing. I imagine them like an art gallery where every artist received the same brief and produced enticingly unique work in response. But now I’m the judge, and I have to pick a favorite—one to represent the exhibit, or the gallery, or whatever you want to be represented in this messy metaphor—and I just can’t.
It’s like I’m standing in front of all of them, vastly different and a statement all its own, but unable to commit to focusing entirely on one. They’re all bold enough to stand out in a crowd but competing for the same moment and medium. There’s really only space for one but they all showed up and refused to leave.
This metaphor has gone off track a little, but somehow that only makes it more appropriate in trying to broach the conversation of what it feels like to feel too many emotions at once. With little time or space to try to differentiate between them—much less process them—it can feel overwhelming and isolating. But I know I’m not alone. If this sounds even a little bit familiar, keep reading ‘cause you deserve to know you’re not alone either.
Why do some people feel emotions so deeply?
There’s no singular reason or characteristic that dictates the intensity of our emotions. For some people, it’s just a product of this whole human thing. Others become sensitive to emotional input through trauma or lived experiences.
No matter what’s brought you to this space of being very aware of your vibrant feelings, you must know that there is nothing wrong with you.
It’s okay to feel things in a big way—you are not too much, too little, too sensitive, or too anything at all. If your feelings overwhelm you (and others, at times), that isn’t an indicator that you need to change who you are. Instead, it might just be time to take a look at the way you’re nurturing what you notice.
A look at the body’s response to big feelings
What you’re feeling doesn’t just stay in your head. Your body responds at a cellular level to the things you’re going through. When you’re happy, your little atoms and neutrons are vibing too. But when you’re on the struggle bus, stress makes itself at home in your body in a myriad of ways.
Your blood pressure, heart rate, hormone production, and even your neurotransmitters change in response to your mood. The way you digest your food is responsive to your feelings too. Every part of you feels what your mind feels—and while that might be a little overwhelming, it can also help pinpoint the relationship between mysterious physical pain and your moods for some people. Services like wellness coaching can help when you’re trying to get your body back on track, and so can supportive therapy like our partners Coralai offer.
How to be there for yourself and all your feelings
While there’s not a single “right way” to get through big feelings, there’s a wrong one: refusing to. So let’s talk about some of your options for navigating life on the Deluxe Feelings side of things that don’t ask you to minimize or tone down the intensity. We want to help you find balance, not change the vivid realness of you.
Reflect and respond
What do you tend to do for yourself when you need to press mute on your too-loud thoughts? If something sprang to mind immediately, lean into that. If it didn’t, you may need to spend some time with the question as you explore the ways you soothe yourself. Even if they’re not necessarily the most balanced, write them down because we’re not going to just indulge willy-nilly in every little thing that brings blissful quiet to our chaos.
Instead, the goal is to respond intentionally.
Think of the ways you can apply your self-soothing tactics to your emotional overwhelm instead of just physical or thought clutter.
Do you tend to listen to music or watch a show? Try making a playlist to turn to in these moments. If you prefer to read or call a friend, make a shortcut on your phone to have access to that tool when you need it. Get creative with the ways you can apply your coping mechanisms that already work to your feelings as well!
Go to therapy
Yep, you should have seen that coming. But real talk: therapy for sorting out your feelings can really help you do just that. Therapy can be another stop on the road to reflection in fine-tuning your self-soothing tools, but also a safe place to find balance, develop new tools, and move past places in your life where feelings-frenzy has stagnated you.
Therapy is an excellent way to find forward motion again and we’re currently offering it in 13 states (with more to come)!
Give yourself permission to feel
The harder you try to push away the difficult or inconvenient feelings, the more persistent they’ll be when they inevitably return. It can be difficult to overcome the programming that tells us we shouldn’t feel those messier feelings in the ever-changing kaleidoscope of humanity. There’s no “but” there—it can just be difficult.
Even still, try to give yourself a little grace. Your permission might look like acknowledging anger, comforting shame or even just making space for feelings like jealousy and indignation. On the flipside, permission can also be creating opportunities for joy to shine and pride in your work being something you let yourself steep in. Feel the whole spectrum and, when you can, try to do it without judgment.
Move about it
Just as your body responds to your mood, sometimes your mood can respond to your body as well. We’re not saying you need to take up a rigorous gym schedule or move like you’re training to become a pro athlete (though if that’s your vibe, we’re here for it!).
You can help your mood and muchness feel more manageable by moving your body with intention. You don’t need a defined purpose or even a regular practice. Let movement come and go in a way that feels natural.
All you need to do is commit to moving your body in whatever ways feel accessible to you right here, right now. Dance, strength train, meditate or undulate about it. No one’s watching except you so just do what feels right.
Before you go, we’d just like to take a moment to reiterate that no matter where you are with your mental health and healing journey, you are worthy of taking the steps that come after this one. Emotional intensity can be overwhelming and isolating but you do not have to go through it alone.
Follow along with us on social media or make an appointment today. We’re with you every step of the way.
