Perfectionism as a New Mom
As a new mom, you might feel like you’re never quite getting it right. Perhaps you’re juggling endless responsibilities, and you never seem to have enough time for everything. Maybe you simply pictured motherhood playing out differently. But instead of lots of Kodak moments with your child, you’ve been putting out one fire after another, all on just a few hours of sleep.
Lots of new mothers feel the pressure to be perfect when it comes to raising their children, balancing their professional and personal life, and keeping the spark alive with their partner. But the truth is, no parent is perfect. When you forgive yourself for your mistakes and let go of unrealistic standards, you can finally enjoy your time your baby, even when things don’t go perfectly. Here are a few reasons why so many new moms feel frustrated by perfectionism.
Before you dive in, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Social Media
While many blogs written for audiences of new moms can be helpful resources, social media content directed at mothers can also display a lifestyle that seems out of reach for many. It’s important to remember that when you look at content for mothers on social media or other websites, you are only seeing the highlights of someone else’s life. You simply don’t know what they’re going through behind the scenes, or what their life is like when the camera isn’t snapping pictures. If you’re comparing your own life to this content, it might be a good idea to take a social media break.
Comparisons to Friends
When you’re new mom, it’s all too easy to compare yourself to your other friends who have children. You might assume that they have it all together. Remember, even if you know your friends very well, you only see part of their lives. They might have their own struggles that you aren’t aware of. Plus, if you were to open up about your own issues with perfectionism, you might be surprised to hear that even your friends who seem confident as mothers have probably felt the same way!
Expectations From Family
Do you ever feel like your family expects you to be a certain type of mother? Maybe your mother, grandmother, or sisters have questioned your parenting decisions. Perhaps you worry that your partner’s family thinks you aren’t good enough. It’s important to remember that other people’s opinions do not reflect on your value as an individual as a mother. Often, people are projecting their own insecurities onto other parents. Letting go of expectations from family members can release you from the trap of perfectionism.
Movies and TV Shows
Have you ever seen movies or TV shows about motherhood and wished that you could emulate the characters? Even if you know that these depictions of motherhood are fictional, it’s hard not to make these comparisons. It may help to look out for media that paints a more realistic, nuanced picture of motherhood.
Your Younger Self
Before becoming a mother, you almost certainly held on to certain ideas of what motherhood would be like. But what if you’ve realized that your life now doesn’t reflect those earlier ideas at all? This is a perfectly normal experience that practically every mother goes through. Before your child is born, it’s impossible to know what motherhood will really be like—so naturally, the reality will differ from your own expectations in some notable ways. Allow yourself to fully experience the ups and downs while releasing your former expectations.
Are you struggling with the burden of perfectionism as a new mom? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.
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