Loving Your Body Through the Seasons

Why you should try body neutrality instead of body positivity this fall

Women today feel a great amount of pressure spearheaded by the beauty industry to succumb to a standard that honestly just doesn’t suit so many bodies. That unhelpful narrative about ideal body types just isn’t doing anyone any favors. But on the other hand, the pressure to love your body can be just as crushing.

The ideals behind body positivity can be liberating and fearless, but it doesn’t work for everyone. That’s why this fall, we’re all about body neutrality. 

Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help

Women & their bodies

From puberty to menopause, women exist on a rollercoaster of acceptance trying to feel good about their bodies. Less than 20% of women surveyed by SELF magazine (out of over 3000!) like their bodies- meaning even fewer of those ladies are feeling the love.

It’s still double the number who were feeling themselves on their last survey during the late 90s. But if in the two and a half decades since we still aren’t making meaningful changes toward loving the skin we’re in, it's time to try something new.

If talking bodies and forcing positivity isn’t doing it, what do we do instead? 

The case for body neutrality 

Body neutrality is, put simply, respecting our bodies for where they are now. We aren’t criticizing them, praising them, or aspiring to change them. It’s okay if you observe or notice the desire to do those things—it’s hard to step outside the mindset we’ve been conditioned to accept and learn to be neutral about your body instead.

But body neutrality simply asks you to show up and observe your body as a part of the machine that keeps you moving through this life- a vital, powerful part. 

It might feel unnatural at first, especially considering the power of the body positivity movement. But it’s important to find space in your life, to be honest about your body's feelings. The pressure to project love toward a body you are feeling self-conscious about is stifling, so body neutrality is a movement that fosters acceptance of what you are—and what you aren’t.  

How body positivity may hurt instead of help

Body positivity is intended to be inclusive of those in bodies of any size, yet it leaves women in bigger and smaller bodies feeling at odds with the skin they’re in.

Flagrantly loving your body as an act of rebellion can divorce you from the ability to honestly communicate frustrations with your body.

Though body positivity doesn’t mean to cause harm, this turmoil can be deep and painful for bodies of every size, and lead to women silencing themselves when all they crave is support.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable in your clothes or trying to navigate changes in shape, the body positivity crowd may encourage you to project love for your body even when that doesn’t feel accessible. Being positive outwardly about a body you struggle with internally will create cognitive dissonance and turmoil that prevents you from accessing support and ways to be kinder to yourself and your body. 

Three things to try in the spirit of body neutrality

Feeling intrigued about the idea of body neutrality? Good! We love to see you bloom into your curiosity and capability as you navigate finding new ways to connect with yourself. 

1.) Explore movement as an experience instead of a goal. 

Sick of going to the gym and doing the same cardio routine that works but is an absolute bore? Stop then. Instead of doing the movement with your body that you equate to effectively, start thinking about it in terms of enjoyment.

Choosing to move your body for entertainment and joy is an active way to create space between the idea that movement must be purposeful through the eyes of someone else (and their opinion of your body). 

It can help to take a throwback through your memories and consider what you loved doing as a child. If you loved riding your bike, swimming, or roller skating, those experiences could be a great place to start in rewriting your relationship with movement and exercise. 

2.) Keep an observation journal about what you see in the mirror.

When most people look in the mirror, they’re either getting ready to criticize themselves or deliver a pep talk so we don’t.

Today, and for the next ten days, challenge yourself to look at your body and make observations that aren’t praise or judgment. 

For example, you could note things like, “My left knee bends automatically when I stand like this”, “I cross my arms when I’m undressed” or “I have three freckles on my hip.”

Just notice your body and the way it exists in the world when you’re committed to not making a determination about what it’s doing.

We’re using the term journal here loosely- you might prefer to use post-it notes, an app on your phone, or even the voice notes app to make a spoken record of the things you observe. 

3.) Set a boundary on body talk with others. 

Do you feel uncomfortable when people comment on your body? Take a moment to consider whether you feel unsettled when they’re criticizing you, praising you or just when they’re passing commentary on your body at all.

Particularly for women of color and trans women, conversations about your body can feel oppressive and invalidating. Set a boundary that you rehearse so you never feel trapped in those moments. 

Think about the way you want to talk to others about your body—or hear them talk about theirs—and develop a script for when they cross over into that uncomfortable space. 

Here are some polite but firm ways to communicate a boundary about body talk: 

“My body doesn’t need to be part of this conversation.”

“What I eat isn’t up for discussion.”

“It’s not helpful for me to take part in bashing our bodies”

“I’d like to change the subject.” 

You can follow it up with a subject change or encouragement to speak about something else that’s relevant, or you can prepare to leave the conversation if they push things. You aren’t obligated to stay in spaces where you and your boundaries don’t feel respected, especially when you’re still working to keep them firm around body image. 

If you are looking for support with rewriting your relationship with your body, Luna Joy can help. Get in touch with us today and let’s talk!