Feeling the need to be busy all the time? Self-Care Tips for the Productive Perfectionist
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Multitasking can be a lot like making espresso. When it works out, its satisfying and fulfilling. But when it goes wrong? Whew, it can get messy. And if you have too much (multitasking, or espresso), you’ll find yourself heart racing, palms sweating, overstimulated and utterly exhausted. So why are we always so busy and how do we find the balance? This blog is for you if you’re feeling the need to be busy all the time and are looking for some self-care tips for your productive, perfectionist self.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Why do I always feel like I need to be busy?
Busyness as a coping mechanism
Busyness is a state of mind. When you’re feeling it, you aren’t feeling other things. On the Unf**k Your Brain podcast, they unpack the headspace of busy and what it does to your mind. If you feel busy and attach your emotional response to that busy-ness, you create some space to insulate yourself from difficult emotions. It isn’t an excuse, but it’s absolutely a coping mechanism that frees up some emotional labor in this moment to deal with what might really be going on. If you are busy, you have an external reason to feel stressed, frustrated, anxious or overwhelmed.
Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response. It's also one that’s entirely reinforced by this cultural phenomenon that praises busy-ness and, in turn, creates guilt or anxiety when we don’t feel busy.
Being busy because you feel like you’re supposed to
Ah, the Busy Olympics. Somehow, we as a culture have perpetuated this concept that we must be busy. And not just busy, but the busiest. When you aren’t busy, or you don’t feel busy, you feel guilty instead. This is because we are conditioned, particularly as women, to make use of ourselves and prove our worth. We feel we must be busy to be worthy and when we’re busy, we are of use.
It’s a badge of honor but it’s doing a lot of damage to you schedule, your stress levels and your self-esteem. Your busy schedule is validation that others look for. Along the way, you might begin to do the same thing. In fact, you may even start to equate your own success with your schedule’s bursting seams.
Busy work makes you feel accomplished
If being busy works for you and makes you feel good, that’s a wonderful thing! There is nothing wrong with finding fulfillment in task completion or the dopamine rush it can bring. But when you must be busy to distract yourself from your emotions or situation, that’s a different animal.
Busy as a measure of accomplishment puts you at risk of burnout for the sake of your full schedule. Trying to fit in as many things as possible to show others that you can, or to show yourself the same thing, isn’t sustainable nor is it going to create an internal culture of worth in your life.
6 Self-care tips and tricks for breaking up with the burden of being busy
If one or more of these reasons feels a little sharp, we get it. Writing this was something of an exercise in self-awareness and all of the tips that we’re about to share are ones we’re going to try to do in our own lives as well.
So, do you want to be less busy? Let’s do it together. We’ve curated a list of our best self-care tips to help us all get started.
1.)Recognize that busy-ness is a choice you make (and can unmake)
Right out of the gate with the hardest tool on the list. While support from your friends or a trusted mental health provider can help you accomplish this, a lot of the work here is yours to do. It will be difficult but it will be so worth it.
2.)Lean into the power of boundaries
When you recognize the space that being busy takes up in your brain, you become empowered to make new choices about how you’ll think about it. Now that you know that feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response, it’s the perfect time to consider what boundaries you want to create to heal past it.
3.)Practice saying “no” when you need to
Once you’ve thought those boundaries through, use them liberally!
4.)Use emotive (and honest) words to describe the way you spend your time.
When you use emotional language to describe the way you spend your time, you may find yourself less interested or willing in participating in some of the things that keep you busy right now. You may also find additional joy in quantifying your emotional relationship with the time you have and how you use it.
5.)Reflect on your wants, needs, goals and dreams.
When those time-feeling connections begin to come to light, you may notice new spaces where you want to explore further. That’s beautiful, and we encourage you to explore that in whatever ways you’re ready to do. This is one of those self-care tips that’s both active and thoughtful and can be performed anywhere.
6.)Make a new and improved list (with relaxation on it)
Learn some new things as you made your way through these self-care tips? It’s time to put them into play with new intentions and ideas.
Now that you’re preparing to be a little less busy, what’s next for you?
We can’t wait to hear. Call us, email us or let’s be friends on social media. We can be less busy, together!
