Feb 13 is Self Love Day!
The day before Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to reconnect with your sense of self through love. This February 13th marks the 14th annual Self Love Day, but this is the first year we’re sharing what self-love means for us (and you) at Luna Joy. Whether you’re in therapy for healing, maintenance or support, the way you learn to love yourself is at the heart of it all.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
A radical reclaiming before Valentine’s Day
Does it seem odd that the chosen date for self love day is the day before you’re meant to turn up the romance with your partner? There’s an important connection in the timing: just before you focus on your relationship with someone else is the perfect time to turn the focus of love and care in your life inward.
Self-love isn’t something that should be confined to a single day per year, or a single action in your day. Instead, allow the positioning of this day just ahead of Valentine’s Day to act as a reminder to check in with yourself, your care practices and your overall well being. This will help you ensure that you’re prepared to give the best possible version of yourself to a strong, empowered and cared-for year ahead. It starts with you, and ripples out into the relationships in your life from there.
Why self love matters
Loving yourself can be a long and arduous process but it’s quite possibly the most important one you’ll endure. The way you love yourself is not just a practice; it’s not a ritual that you put on for anyone else to see. There are no boxes to tick or levels to hit, and you can’t win any medals. But what you can do is experience a life where you are not the one standing in your own way.
Self love is the way that you show up for yourself, and studies suggest we need it to thrive. It’s got a lot of empowering benefits, but some of our favorite reasons to commit to self-love as a both practice and a path in life are below:
Builds emotional resilience
Get a confidence boost
Less stress, more motivation for growth
Inspire others in your life to seek their own self love
Stronger and more empowering boundaries
Deepen bonds with your kids
There’s more- so much more- but at the core of it all, self love matters because you matter.
The difference between selfishness and self-love
To be selfish is to choose yourself without regard for others. That is not the same thing as self love, but if you have spent your life choosing others, it can feel like it. The impulse to push back against any notion of self love can be deeply rooted in an idea of selfishness that means to think of yourself at all.
But it’s not selfish to notice your needs. It’s self love. Self love is introspective. It’s the act of thoughtfully choosing yourself in service to your own growth so you may continue to grow. For women and mothers particularly, there is a sense of shame in being perceived as selfish, or in ever choosing ourselves. We dig deep into wells of passion, compassion, knowledge and day-saving to support our loved ones and make their lives easier. It is what we are supposed to do. And while that can feel good and help you to fill your love tank as you accomplish these mountain-moving feats of everyday life, it isn’t enough.
You must also choose yourself. You must also choose your love. You must, before all else, remember to nourish the quiet parts of your heart that belong only to you. The whispers that you wake with, and the worries that keep you up at night. It is not selfish to hear them and respond to them. To care for and nourish them. It is not selfish to have boundaries, wants or interests.
3 right-now tasks to re-boot your self-love tank
Write about the good stuff
While this seems a pretty open-ended prompt, we have a couple of specific ways we like to apply it in rejuvenating a sense of self love.
Option 1: A list of wins of every size. Write down as many wins as you can think of from the past year- little wins like remembering to make the bed or brush your hair, all the way up to getting a promotion or smashing a goal you set.
Option 2: A love letter to yourself in which you share the dreams you have for your future, empowering hopes and ideas around the challenges you’re facing and how you’ll overcome them, and important thoughts about your strengths and values. Share only what you believe in and watch how your self love letter takes shape.
For those of you that aren’t journalers, these are excellent ways to get written proof of your efforts without committing time you may not have to a journaling practice. You can save your list or letter and review them next year on Self Love Day to see where you’re at. If it feels right, you might choose to return to this each year as a way to check in and keep moving on this journey of love turned inward.
Plan a date for yourself
Ever wish your dates looked like they do in the movies? They could. Clear your schedule and get ready to feel butterfly flutters for the most incredible date imaginable with someone who knows exactly what you want—you.
Get dressed up, pick all your favorite things, and plan a few hours with no one in mind but you. Take yourself out on a date, then use the way you’re feeling after this calibration of self-compassion to decide where you’ll spend your extra energy moving forward.
Practice body neutrality
Set a boundary with yourself around your body. This is especially important, and powerful, if little eyes and ears are watching the way you love your physical self every day. It can be difficult (and feel false) to try to practice body positivity. It’s even truer when you’re still learning how to show up for yourself—literally, it can be hard to dress yourself when your body changes!
Instead, commit to your self love with a new concept: body neutrality. You don’t have to love it, but you can’t hate it. Acknowledge your strengths and joyful movement, and accept the things that have changed. Body neutrality is about being where you are without attaching the stigma of where you think you should be to your sense of self.
While we could talk all day about the magic of you finding a new love story within yourself, we feel it’s more powerful to let you take the lead. We hope that you’ve found a space to start without judgment and lean into the concepts of self-love without questioning your worthiness.
But if you get lost along the way, or need a little extra encouragement, Luna Joy is here behind you, holding space in 13 states on the path toward beautiful things.
P.S: You’re doing a great job.
