Surviving The Teen Years: An Exercise in Self-Sufficiency

To say adolescence is a complicated time in one’s life is an incredible understatement. Just the same, being a parent to an adolescent is similarly complicated and exhausting. Surviving adolescence can be stressful and difficult for teen and parents alike.

Though it may be difficult to see eye to eye with your teenager, there are ways for you to communicate and support your teens and yourselves in healthy and productive ways. 

If you feel like your family could use some help surviving the teen years, you are not alone. There are helpful counseling resources available to you and/or your family and some unbiased parenting support for parents of teens at LunaJoy. 

Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help

Making Adolescence Make Sense

We’d like to say first to parents of teenagers that you guys have it rough! But know that if you are here and you’re searching for parenting support you are likely doing your best! Know that it’s okay to argue, that letting go is hard, and that watching your child grow up is even harder. 

Still, your teen has a lot going on too. Specifically a lot of things that don’t always make them the best conversationalist or household guests. Adolescence is a time of confusion, testing boundaries, learning about oneself, forming meaningful relationships, and navigating steadily increasing independence. That is definitely a lot for a teenager to take on. 

Authoritative Parenting for the win!

Studies have shown that an authoritative parenting style is associated with higher levels of parent-teen cohesion and lower levels of conflict frequency and conflict intensity.

We know that parenting styles are unique and individualized, and often look far easier to utilize on paper than in reality. But recognizing your parenting style and making some more adjustments towards authoritarian parenting can help you and your teen survive the teen years with just a bit more sanity and fewer arguments. 

By utilizing some key characteristics of authoritative parenting, you can establish boundaries and mutual respect with your teenager. This definitely takes a lot of development and trust, but ultimately it helps grant your teen that independence and self-efficacy they are longing for. 

Some key components of this parenting style are:

1. Showing your teen empathy 

2. Showing your teen respect

3. Taking their wishes and opinions into consideration

4. Conflict resolution as a collaborative process

5. Establishing (and enforcing) boundaries, rules and consequences

6. Showing love, compassion, warmth and forgiveness

7. Allowing independence

8. Teaching from mistakes

These are just a few examples of the authoritative parenting style. Research identifies that children of authoritative parents are more empathic, helpful, conscientious, and overall have well-developed social and emotional development. Communication is key here as well as modeling mature, respectful and appropriate behavior. 

The Science of Adolescencee it stand out

Aside from the physical and hormonal (hello, puberty) changes that take place in adolescence, this is also a time of great emotional and social development that psychologists have studied in great depth.

There is a lot of theories on the psychological and neurological aspect of adolescence. Below we will share some main theories and perspectives on adolescence that help parents looking for support understand just a bit more about the true magnitude of changes currently being experienced by their teen. 

• The biological theory of adolescence emphasizes the physical and sexual changes and developments experienced by adolescence. 

• The psychological theory stresses the exploration of sexuality and relationships during adolescence. 

• The psychosocial theory focuses on identity formation, achieving identity and identity diffusion. 

• The cognitive theory focuses on the development and understanding of complex and abstract thoughts. 

• The ecological theory stresses the contexts in which adolescent development influences such as family, peers, religion, school, etc. 

• The social cognitive theory emphasizes the relationships between social and environmental factors and learning behavior through modeling (see above: authoritative parenting!).

Teenage Dreams (& Nightmares)

I know this may sound like a bunch of psychobabble. But hopefully, this brings you some comfort as a mother, father or parent to a teenager that a lot of what they are going through is normal and natural. Though we were all teens once, we have a much different perspective of our experience once we become parents to a teen ourselves.

Ideally, this offers some clarity on what your teen is feeling and why aka checking off the first task in authoritative parenting. Once you take the time to understand what teens are going through, you’re better able to help them (and yourself) navigate this period in their lives. 

Parenting Support for Parents of Teens at Luna Joy

Adolescence is confusing and full of pimples, catastrophizing, making mistakes, and learning what to do differently in the future. With hormones raging and their brain still developing, being a teen is tough.

It is definitely not an easy job for a parent either, so do not hesitate to reach out for support. Or to get away from your hormonal teen for an hour.

Moms, if you feel you need a place to vent about your teenager, family, or all the other tasks you are juggling, get connected with a counselor at Luna Joy today.