Finding Your Voice: A Pep Talk on Self-Advocacy for Women
Do you struggle to speak up for yourself? Do you often find yourself going along with others' wishes, even when they don't align with your own? If so, you're not alone.
Many women struggle with self-advocacy at work and home, but it's an essential skill for living a fulfilling life. In this blog, we'll explore the importance of self-advocacy and how you can learn to speak up for yourself.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Signs That You're Not Speaking Up for Yourself
Do you find yourself nodding along with others' opinions even when you don't agree with them? Do you tend to stay quiet in uncomfortable situations or avoid confrontation altogether? If you said yes, you may not be speaking up for yourself when you need to.
If you can relate to any of these statements, it may be a sign that you need to work on developing your self-advocacy skills and finding your voice.
You find yourself going along with what others want, even if it's not what you want.
You feel resentful or frustrated because your needs are not being met.
You struggle to set boundaries with others and often feel like you're being taken advantage of.
You second-guess yourself and worry about what others may think of you.
You avoid conflict, even when you need it in order to find solutions.
You feel physical symptoms of stress or anxiety, such as tense muscles or difficulty sleeping, as a result of not speaking up for yourself.
You feel stuck or unfulfilled in your personal or professional life and have a sense that something needs to change but are unsure how to make it happen.
While it may feel easier to stay silent, not speaking up can lead to feelings of powerlessness and resentment. But there are steps you can take to begin to recognize when you need to speak up for yourself!
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are crucial for self-advocacy, and learning when you need them is a great first focus as you navigate your own assertiveness in new ways. Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves and others to protect our physical and emotional well-being.
Boundaries can include saying "no" when we need to, speaking up when someone crosses a line, or limiting how much time we spend with certain people or activities. Without boundaries, you may feel overwhelmed, taken advantage of, or powerless.
Confidence and Compassion Increase When You Feel Heard
Speaking up for yourself requires both confidence and compassion, and not being heard can make you feel invisible. Confidence means believing in yourself and your ability to assert your needs and wants. Compassion means treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when things don't go as planned. When we have confidence and compassion, we're more likely to speak up for ourselves in a way that is assertive yet kind and respectful.
When you can communicate your needs and boundaries effectively, you are less likely to feel resentful or frustrated with others for not meeting your expectations. This can make you a more compassionate person, and a better parent, communicator and leader in situations that need it. Assertive communication isn’t domineering or controlling communication.
It’s Good to be Assertive!
Many women avoid advocating for themselves because they don't want to appear pushy. You may worry that self-advocacy will make you seem overbearing or "bossy." But there's a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertiveness means expressing your needs and opinions clearly and respectfully. It doesn’t inherently mean being aggressive, dismissive, or disrespectful no matter what others may imply.
Learning to be assertive takes practice, but it's a vital skill for self-advocacy. Therapy and support online can help you learn to communicate assertively.
The Mental Health Benefits of Self-Advocacy for Women
Learning to speak up for yourself and be assertive can have loads of mental health benefits. When we speak up for ourselves, we feel more authentic, and we're better able to live our lives in alignment with our values and goals. You might feel more empowered, confident, and in control of your life when you have your say.
The confidence you’ll gain can also lead to improved relationships with others, as you can communicate your needs and boundaries more effectively. It can even help reduce your anxiety and stress levels just knowing that you can say what you need to, helping you to harness a sense of personal power!
How Therapy and Support Online Can Help You Speak Up for Yourself
Working with an online therapist can provide a safe and supportive space to explore the underlying beliefs and fears that may be holding you back from speaking up. The unique but still low-stakes format of virtual therapy can help you develop the skills needed to assert yourself in a way that feels authentic and aligned with your values.
Additionally, online support groups can be an excellent resource for women looking to connect with others experiencing similar challenges. These groups provide a sense of community and can help women feel less alone in their struggles, and it’s an accessible and convenient way to challenge yourself in a judgment-free space where you can also harness the power to heal and grow.
Are You Ready to Live Out Loud?
Learning to speak up for yourself and be assertive can be a challenging journey, but it's one that is well worth taking. When you begin speaking up for yourself, the world opens up to deeper and more vibrant living. This means embracing the new freedom of setting your life up in a way that aligns with your values and goals. It means taking risks, trying new things, and being open to growth and change.
Leaning into the power you have when you speak up for yourself is essential for your mental health and well-being. By setting boundaries, cultivating confidence and compassion, being assertive without being an as*hole, and living out loud, you can learn to advocate for yourself and live a fulfilling life. If you need help on this journey, Luna Joy is here for you.
